Guest Review by Christina: Fuck Yes! Killer Klowns From Outer Space!

As part of a blogring challenge for this month, we were to review a horrible horror movie. My guest poster is Christina in Wonderland, who will be reviewing "Killer Klowns From Outer Space." I hope you all enjoy the review, and please visit her blog if you enjoy her writing!

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If you've never heard of the 1988 cult classic B-movie horror/comedy that is the epic Killer Klowns From Outer Space then I question your worth as a human being. And that's just for starters. I figured when Nugs demanded we all review shitty ass horror movies, that this would count as one of those "it's so bad it's really good" kind of things. And it really, really is. I was raised on shit like this! And shockingly I haven't developed a phobia of clowns, so it's all good. I do have other phobias because of this movie though. But more on that later.

Anyway, what I decided to do with this was rewatch the damn thing on Hulu. (If you haven't ever seen it and you want to watch it after reading my commentary, then , here's the link. This whole parenthesis is the link. So just click it, mkay?) And I was going to do a running commentary kind of thing, and them someone's blog on Tumblr fucked my shit all up and made me lose half of my commentary, and now I'm sad and want to go die, so I'll just do a review and try to be funny.

In the grand tradition of shitty 1980s movies, it starts off with an epically bad theme song that they pretend is a single playing on the radio. Haha. Very funny music guys. Then, there's an ice cream truck and some fat chicks jokes at a massive make-out sesh somewhere remote, but that apparently every college kid knows about, because they're all up there trying to get laid in their vehicles that are parked side by side.

At about seven minutes in we get our first taste of the obligatory grumpy redneck guy, complete with overalls, missing teeth, rocking chair on the porch, and hound dog. Does every alien movie have to have this guy in it? Really? I feel like he's a creeper, trolling around in my damn movies all the time. Bad touch!!!!!!! I'm going to tell my mommy on you!!!! And, of course, in true creeper fashion, redneck idiot has to fucking love the circus when he finds one that's camped up in a spot where he thinks Hayley's Comet has hit.

You following me so far? I didn't think so...

Ten minutes in and you can already tell the movie is filled with shitty acting, shitty special effects, and a shitty plot, but it's just so fucking funny that it doesn't even matter. In spite of all it's horrible epic bad 1980s bullshit, I fucking love this damn movie.

The alien clowns really steal the show. I mean, I think that's what makes this movie so iconic. The make-up and costumes are so ridiculous, yet, in that, they're still kind of creepy.

On a weird note, I hope I'm not the only one who thinks the alien clowns kind of talk all adorable and stuff. I mean, they talk like so cute. But they're very, very bad. Bad clowns. Bad!

And the circus tent like thing (their mothership) that they set-up in the woods when they land is pretty dope. Super bad ass 1980s fun house that reminds me of the Supernatural episode "Mystery Spot".

This movie also gets mad props for creative uses of popcorn machines and cotton candy cocoons. Which kind of leads me to a confession. I watched this, like I said, when I was little, okay? And when you're young and impressionable like that, it fucks with your head. Well see what had happened was, well, I was terrified to eat cotton candy for a long time because I thought I would be eating people. And I'm still wary of circus tents because I fear that there might be clown aliens that are trying to collect humans for food. It also caused my insane fear of balloon animals.

Anyway, I really didn't want to give away too much, and it occurs to me that I'm a shitty reviewer. You've probably been bored out of your mind reading this, and I totally understand. Just, suffice it to say I totally recommend this movie in the way that I recommend anything that's so bad you just can't help but laugh at it!